And, she's four...

Wow. Do we really have a four year old? I know we have a new one on the way, but I still can't believe that my first baby is 4 (or that my dog is almost 7). She's an amazing, funny, passionate, imaginative, surly little thing, and for all her challenges, I wouldn't trade her for the world. I've been grading some papers lately, and the high school seniors were asked to write about what love is. Their definitions, though they certainly evoked memories, focused solely on the only thing they can even fathom: romantic love.

What they don't know, the big secret, is that as amazing as it is to find another person to love, and be loved by, your soul mate, or whatever you call it, is that the love a parent has for a child is even more amazing. And the love one develops for the partner who helps you create that child is so much stronger than it could have been without. A parent will truly step in front of a train for their child. Give up nearly everything for that child...make changes she never thought she'd make, and become a person she never knew she could. I have grown so much as a person in the last four years...I barely recognize myself (this is a good thing). Much as I'm always changing and evolving, I feel like I really know myself, who I am, and what I want to be when I grow up someday.

An amazing role model for an amazing girl (and her equally amazing little sibling to come).

And so, Peanut, mama loves you...more than you'll know until you have babies someday. Happy Birthday little one.

Hurry up and wait...

Being pregnant is an exercise in patience. And I'm not a particularly patient person. Now that this pregnancy has progressed to a point where I can no longer forget about it (amazing, I know, but I was so energetic that I'd actually forget I was knocked up), and it's limiting my abilities to do things, I'm ready to be done. No, I'm  not ready for the kiddo to be out, it's not done cooking, but I'm ready for the baby, sure. The house is ready, more or less, my brain is ready, as much as it can be, and Michael, Ryan and I are all so curious about this little creature.

Now, we're antsy.

We've been a whirlwind of activity the last few weeks, doing this, running here, cleaning out that, and now that we're nearly done, it's kind of a let-down. We've run at least one truckload a weekend to the storage unit, and the house is actually starting to look uncluttered. We've given tons of our junk (one man's trash, and all that) to goodwill, and are selling some of the bigger items on craigslist (DVD towers, anyone?). We're picking up the changing table tomorrow...that's the last thing I need to be able to finalize all the baby organization.

What do you do when there's nothing left to do? I'm too tired to go out. We're too busy saving money to buy stuff (that never makes me happy anyway). I love to bake, but have a hard time finding people to eat it all (yay for upcoming birthdays). I'm in the mood to socialize, but in no mood to be around people. Ahhh, the end of pregnancy blahs. I'm really looking forward to this baby being here and feeling a little bit more like myself.

At least we've got Ryan and Michael's birthdays to entertain us in the meantime. And of course, mama will sew, but it's not a whole lot of fun to sew for a child whose gender is unknown to us. So Ryan will get more stuff, no doubt...Sure, I could organize more things, clean out more little nooks and crannies in the house (and I'm sure I will), but I guess I'm getting a little bored of that too. And tired. But it's so nice to have the house all sorted out before our new little whirlwind arrives. The tiniest little people make so much mess (laundry, mostly).

We're ready for you baby...now we've nothing left to do but hurry up and wait.