Crush

Ryan has her first crush. On a boy. Not one that she's grown up with and that feels, probably, more like a sibling.

It's sweet. And adorable. She can't stop talking about Tyler, and how she plays with him at school, and sits by him during "first circle, and snack, and second circle. THREE times, mama" and plays with him outside.

As she was babbling away in the backseat (Tyler this and Tyler that), it hit me. This is just the beginning. This is just her first crush. Someday, she'll be older, and have another crush, and she'll feel those butterflies in her tummy when he walks by. And someday after that, she'll be even older, and he'll break her heart. And yes, this is what I think about as I'm driving to preschool, listening to showtunes in the car. He'll break her heart, and I'll think back to Tyler. The sweet little boy she had her first crush on.

A girl never forgets her first crush. Just like she never forgets her first love. And her first heartbreak. I could tell you all their names, but I won't.
And she never, ever, forgets her true love. If she's really lucky, she'll get to marry that boy.
And live happily ever after (more or less) with him.
And he'll love her.
And she'll love him.

I love you Michael. Happy Anniversary. Thank you for six amazing years of marriage. For holding my hand, for letting me hold yours. For catching my baby, for holding my babies, for helping make these amazing girls of ours. For helping to make our house truly a home.

Reflections...

Lately I've been spending a lot of time reflecting: on who I am, what I love, and what I might like to do with my life (well, our lives, really). Nursing a newborn gives a mama A LOT of time for retrospection.

These thoughts, as of right now, are quite incomplete, and just a jumble of ideas all over the place. Mama's plotting and planning, and trying not to get too far ahead of myself. Six weeks post partum is rarely a good time to make clear decisions about anything.

In the meantime, I'm really enjoying my new camera (have I mentioned that yet? Cause I really love it.). I've taken a few pictures of myself reflected in various windows lately, and I think I might have started something. Mama and her girls, reflected in the window of a Seattle Underwater exhibit at the Aquarium, gave me pause. It is, in a sense, us, reflected in our home. Or maybe it's our home reflected in us. Which is why I dig reflections, and the circular logic it requires to comprehend them. And why, out of all the thinking and reflecting I've been doing lately, I've got nothing but a jumble of thoughts.

Reflection and Reflexes

Do you ever start a blog post with every intention coming back to it? You even leave yourself a lovely, poignant title with which to recall the thoughts you'd meant to capture, but alas, you have no freakin' clue what you meant by it?

yeah. that's this one. probably would have been interesting too.