Hallmark really does make a card for everything

I found these at the Hallmark store today, among many others that I didn't write down, but should have:

Anorexia

Adoption

Miscarriage/stillbirth

Support for parents who’s children have made bad decisions

Bad day

I think that might be my dream job, writing for Hallmark. I don’t know if I could do it, but I think I’m pretty clever much of the time, and I know it’d be a blast. Can you imagine their meetings?

Let’s brainstorm new ideas for cards, folks!

Oooh, I know, how about a “Congratulations on your breast reduction/enlargement!”

Or, “Congratulations, you’ve found Viagra!”

Or, “I’m so sorry your anti-depressants don’t seem to be helping”

Or, “I’m so sorry your son got his girlfriend knocked up”/”I’m so sorry your daughter got knocked up”

What fun! I so want to work for Hallmark.