Present Orgy

Ryan has figured out presents...they are all for her, and they are all super fun. She LOVED everything that everyone sent her, especially a baby doll from her GiGi. We've named her Olivia, or Livi and Ryan has been hugging her, kissing her, and stepping on her all morning. She LOVES the gumball thingie we got her with the gift card from cousin Mimi, thinks the shape sorter from Nonna and Poppa is pretty cool stuff, and loves the balls, books, and cups she got from us. She's had so much fun exploring all of her new toys!

Check out www.dropshots.com/katymama for videos of Ryan opening presents, including some Hanukkah gifts, and as always, there are a million pics on www.afruma.net.

We wish everyone out there a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and a fantastic New Year!

Love, The Afrumas

Kisses!!

Our little princess can now make kissy noises! She discovered it in the car today, and has spent the entire day making kisses to everyone and everything! Adorable.

Hanukkah Presents

So, it hasn't taken Ryan long to discover how to open presents. She got her third one today, and went to town on it! We just sat by, watching her slowly and carefully rip the paper off of it, and upon discovering that it was a box of cookies, handing it to her daddy to open it for her! She's so clever!!

"Mama" and "ladlelelele"

Ryan's talking so much now! It's really, really adorable. Ever since she located her tongue last week, it's been "lalala" and "ladeladeladel" and then yesterday, it was, finally, "mama"! Hooray! 11 months of spending nearly every darn day with her and finally, I get a "mama"!!

You can watch a video of her doing it here!

My silly little shopper!

She was getting ready for bed tonight, jammies and stuff, and was all dressed, well, minus pants, and crawled over to her laundry basket, pulled her diapers out of her dipe holder, grabbed her starbucks cup (she has a plastic water cup she’s been playing with for a week) and stuck them in her laundry basket and walked off! Pushing the basket. I wish I’d had the camera handy, cause it was the funniest thing. Then, as we walk by her wipes, no joke, she picks them up and non-chalantly flings them into her basket and keeps walking! She got halfway down the hallway before she decided enough was enough, she was going to crawl to the kitchen. She’s hilarious, I tell ya!

Cashmere and snow

So, it's snowing today, and it's lovely. I think that in all the time I've lived up here (a grand total of five years) it's snowed EVERY year, and I'll never get tired of it. Having grown up in California, snow falling from the sky will never cease to amaze me. And for that first night, before I have to try to drive anywhere in it, it's beauty is simply astounding. It's like you can hear Robert Frost, "walking through the woods on a snowy evening" and you know exactly what he spoke of. You know just how he felt standing at the woods, in the silent, silent snow, wondering which way to go. Granted, I felt that way walking to my mailbox, but magical nonetheless. And for the last two days, I've had "let it snow" and "white christmas" running through my head, which makes me want to do nothing more than set up my new, faux, prelit "giftmas" tree (or Hannukah bush, or what have you), watch white christmas, read polar express to my daughter and generally bask in the loveliness of the season. But alas, I have school work to do. Papers to write and finals to study for. So here I sit, blogging, procrastinating my homework.

As for the cashmere part of the post...I love cashmere. Really and truly I do. There is nothing more lovely than a soft, fuzzy cashmere sweater on a crispy, magical snowy day. And apparently, my daughter agrees. She spent the better part of the afternoon and evening petting me and trying to rest her head on my sweater. She cuddled up and tried to find a comfy spot to sleep on me, to the point that I almost thought I should take my sweater off and let her sleep with it, but I am selfish, and I was warm, and I didn't want to take it off. I did however, make her a pair of cashmere pants out of an old sweater the other day, and I think I shall make her a blankie out of the rest of the sweater. She'll like that, I think. I'll wrap it up for a giftmas gift.

On another RE note...her darling-ness is simply the sweetest thing sometimes. As she fell off to sleep tonight, and babbled to herself (a quiet little dadadadadada) she played with my hair. She does this sometimes, just twisting and playing with it as she drifts off. I always find it the sweetest little thing.

I commented to some friends tonight that her hugs and cuddles just mean so much more now. Sure, it was lovely when she was teeny and did nothing but snuggle all day, but now that she can make her own decision as to whether or not she hugs and cuddles, it is just more meaningful.

Snow pics

My little snowbunny...couldn't understand why she was outside in the cold. Ick.

My poor little Honda, all covered in snow.

Ryan's totally trying to decipher this crazy white stuff.

Ack, it's been forever...as usual

Life is so insane right now. Ryan's everywhere, crawling, pulling up, having tantrums. I'm nutso, school, volunteering, my business. Michael's new job is going well. We have a mold problem in the house that's not being dealt with quickly enough for my taste. Blah.

I'm going to end a very, very long day now. Ugh.

Pumpkins...

Well, it was a while ago, but here are some adorable pics of Ryan at the pumpkin patch from October 6th...and some pics of us from our playgroups Halloween party October 28th.

HOTSLINGS!

So, I am now selling the coolest baby carrier on the block!! I love my hotsling...I want you to love one too! So, to any and all who either come to my blog on purpose, or stumble on it accidentaly, drop me a line if you're interested and we'll chat!

www.REgardingpeanut.blogspot.com

Ok, yeah, sorry, it's been a while

OK, so Ryan's 9 months old today. How did I wind up with a 9 month old??? When did that happen and where, oh where did my baby go?

So, quick and dirty, here's the update:

She's crawling, I think I blogged about that already.
She has 4 teeth, 2 top and 2 bottom. They came in one side at a time though, she looked crazy.
She stands. On everything. But not without anything yet. Thank goodness.
She babbles. Nothing sensical, though Michael and I are pretty sure we both heard woof in reference to Zoe, but we could be wrong.
She loves her piano and all music. I don't know if she's going to be a dancer, a musician, or what, but she bounces and smiles at anything with a beat.

In the last 3 months we've been to California, New Orleans, Mobile, AL, and Cali again. Weave got married, 'Lys got married, Mike got engaged, Julie's about to pop, we refi-ed the house, school started again, Michael got his new job at corporate, I started another business...damn it's been busy!

But, I love my crazy life. It's so fun!! I could do without school, but I'm almost finished with that, and this quarter is pretty good, so I'm ok. And it's fall, and we all know how I love fall, so again, I'm a happy girl. The leaves are a-changing, the weather is cooling off and it's time to break out the sweaters. I had butternut/apple soup for dinner and baked banana bread. I love fall.

Wish him luck...

Michael interviewed for 3 different jobs yesterday (all at Costco). One was for the corporate help desk and the other 2 are in-warehouse management positions.

I am so glad everything is finally falling into place. We've been so up in the air for so long that it's just great to know that things are settling down.

The refi has been started, our real estate agent is coming tomorrow to check out the house and give us a good estimate of value, and Michael's whole job thing is getting sorted out. It's like a huge weight has been lifted.

So, wish him luck and think good thoughts for him!

Movin', movin', movin'...

She's trying to get movin'....

So, yesterday, for the first time, she got her butt and belly up off the ground! She's trying so hard, it's so fun to watch. I wish I could post video on here...I'll have to find some way to host a video and get it up on here. In the meantime, pics will have to do!

We are SO babyproofing this weekend!

Roll Call...who's pregnant? Who's getting married?

I am so amused that I know so many people who are pregnant right now! It seems like my group of friends have all (or most) gotten married, and are now being fruitful and multiplying left and right!

Weddings this summer:
Jim and Annie
Ian and Jackie
Matt and Heather
Chris and Alyssa
Mike and Helen

Babies:
Julie and Brian
Annie and Mikkel
Leah and her hubby
Krissy and Keith
Tammy and Drew
Kami and Michael

Nuts!!! I think Michael and I started a trend. Ryan was just so cute, everyone decided they should have a baby too!

Crawling backwards...

OK, so RE is a very silly girl, and has begun to crawl backwards!! She tries so hard to get going forward, towards her toy, or Zoe, or whatever, but just can't seem to get moving in the right direction!

She has figured out though, that if she moves back, then pivots on her tummy (like a clock hand), she can access stuff! But usually, she just gets stuck under the coffee table. I'll have to try to snag a pic of that and post it.

Crazy girl.

Baby Bling!

Ryan has gotten her bling...we got her ears pierced yesterday!! She cried, I cried, Nonna cried, and now she looks too pretty! Not that she wasn't pretty before, but now she's got *BLING*! And she spent the better part of yesterday in tears, so of course, I feel terrible, because I've tortured my baby. But it's done, and now she'll never have to worry about having them done. Or be 6 and afraid to have them done.

Uncle Mike

Ryan loves her Uncle Mike...it's adorable.
I asked Mike if he'd mind hanging out with her while I showered yesterday and of course, he said sure. When I got out of the shower, I crept out into the living room to check on them, and Mike was sitting with Ry on his lap, reading his mountain climbing book to her while she tried to eat it. Too cute.
He's also totally fascinated with her behavior. He timed her in the car yesterday to see how long it would take her to fall asleep. 6 minutes. He took her for a walk at RTC while I ate lunch and showed her the big kids at the playground.
I think he's digging being an uncle. And someday, he'll dig being a daddy. No hurry though.

Thank you for the shoes Cousin Mimi!

Thanks Marissa! These shoes sure do taste good!

Ryan and her sidekick, Zoe!

Ryan loves Zoe. I don't know how many of you I've shared this with, but she truly loves this dog.

She watches Zoe everywhere she goes. She tries to wriggle out of our arms to get to her. She squeals in delight when Zoe licks her face (gross).

And Zoe loves Ryan too. Sometimes, I think Zoe's thinking, "Oh God, why do they let her pet me? All she does is grab my fur!" But other times, it seems as though she loves the attention. And the treats that Ryan gives her.

So, I walk back into the dressing area this morning, and find Ryan sitting in her boppy, hanging out, playing with that girl in the mirror, and Zoe, all curled up, head on the boppy, with Ryan's arm flung over Zoe's head. It was such a kodak moment...and of course, I have a picture!


In any case, though I still don't trust Zoe (14# baby v 80# dog? no.), I feel MUCH more comfortable about having her and Ryan in the same household. There had been some talk about whether or not we'd be able to keep Zoe, but I think it's all going to work out fine.

Besides, what would Ryan do without her sidekick?

The BIG 5 month Peanut update.

OK y'all, here it is...it's been about a thousand years since I've blogged, and here's all the great, fun, amazing new stuff that Peanut's been up to:
*She can sit up on her own now!
*She's trying to crawl, commando style (and getting quite angry when she can't)
*She has played in a swimming pool!
*Peek-a-boo is her favorite game
*Bath time is fun, but only on her tummy
*Love to pet the Zoe...well, grab at her is more like it
*Laugh maniacally when I tickle her. And she gets the hiccups (like mommy, like daughter)
*She shakes her toys and bangs them on whatever is handy (me, the highchair, Zoe, herself)
*Her bald spot is growing in (thank goodness)
*She is recognizing her own name and responds to it!
*She eats cereal and fruit and loves to make a disaster of it.

Well, it's a lot...and I'm sorry it's been so long. And I'll try to be better about it.

Oh, and I did finally add some more pics to the Afruma.net website, so you can all enjoy that too!

Mmmm...sushi.

Michael and I actually went out without Ryan. Together. For the first time in 4 months.

We had sushi for our anniversary dinner and it was so lovely. We didn't talk about Ryan at all! And we didn't call home either. I am so proud of us. And Ryan survived (as I knew she would).

Thanks, Michele!

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

OMG, I finally saw it!! The Paris Hilton South Park episode. Thank you TiVo!! It recorded it as a suggestion and man, it's never been so right! Michael made me stay up last night until 1am to watch it. Holy crap...so freakin' funny.

I love Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Those guys are brilliant.

Rice Cereal Facials

RE eats cereal now! Yum...

Ok, so more of it ends up on her bib, her hands, her pants, her chair, the table, the dog, etc. than in her stomach, but it's fun nonetheless! And she totally digs it, so that makes it even better. She grabs the spoon as it's heading towards her mouth and shoves it in her mouth, only to find that, blech, there is something on it! What is this nonsense? Ick, it's food. Oh, I'll try it she says...yum, that's good stuff. And then we start all over again.

She's also big on the sippy cup now. She tries to steal my water bottles, glasses, Starbucks cups and drink out of them, but she's always surprised and a little grossed out by what's inside (not coffee, shit guys, I'm not Britney).

While we were in Cali, mom and I went to a lovely restaurant in Walnut Creek and Ryan was trying desperatly to attack my food. She finally got my water glass and nearly pulled the whole thing on her!! Then we asked the waiter for a shotglass so she could drink some herself and man, it was good times.

She thinks she's such a big girl. It's crazy.

It's like we were never apart.

Ryan and I spent 5 days in California, visiting with Nonna and Poppa, but mostly to visit Tammy and Gabe. It's been nearly 4 years since Tammy and I have seen each other, including almost a year where we didn't talk because she was stationed in Iraq and had limited phone access (thank you again, my dear). But it's like we were never separated. Sure, in the last four years we've gone though marriages, Army, jobs, pets, pregnancies, babies, and all at pretty much the same time, over the phone, but getting together, and in Pleasanton, where we used to hang out, it was like neither of us ever left.

Case in point: Hanging out at Stoneridge, one of our favorite haunts. We took the babes to get their pics together (adorable BTW, will post later) and had to feed and change diapers, etc. So it was a bit twilight zone to be back in our old hangout, but now with babies to deal with. I don't know. It's hard to put into words how so much has changed in our lives, but in many respects, it's all still the same. We are still very much the same people, even though we've changed a lot. And I think the fact that we did so much at the same times has helped us to remain really close despite the miles and miles between us.

We've really been through a lot together, and have stayed friends though a lot of things that other, not so close people might lose touch over. But it's really cool to have the kind of friends where you can just pick up where you left off, no matter how long it's been.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and miss you so much Tam, and I'm so grateful that we got to spend that altogether too short weekend together. I still can't wait to meet Drew, Shelby, and Butters.

It's officially my anniversary!

I'm so proud of us. I can honestly say that I truly enjoy being married to Michael. And that every day, I love him more. It's not cliche, just how it is. He's really my best friend and I love hanging out with him.

And now, we've got RE, who is simply the embodiment of what Michael means to me. She is our future.

Happy Anniversary babe, here's to the rest of our lives!

More Diaper Covers!

In my never ending effort for my daughter to have the cutest behind ever, I have made several new diaper covers! Including a knitted one. It's a bit spastic, but it fits, and I did it! Plus, now I know how to make it better for next time.

And the fabric ones I've been doing are just darling! And they're starting to come out more uniform.
I will post more pics tomorrow, when she's awake and can model for me! For now, she just looks darling with the knit one on her head! It's a statement, anyway.

RE's 4 month update!

Here's the update on the peanut:

She's now 12 pounds 12 ounces, 23 inches, and healthy!!

She continues to deserve the nickname "peanut".

RE did very well at her appointment, she peed on the scale, fun. And not just peed a little bit, but seriously soaked the ENTIRE scale, including bathing herself in urine. Again, thank goodness for baby wipes! And at least she was already nakie, cause if not, she'd be in trouble!

The shots were not so fun, of course, but after just a few minutes of really pitiful crying (from both me and her), all was OK, and as we left the Doc's office, she was smiling.

She is developing perfectly, doing everything she should be at this point: bringing her hands together, reaching for toys, tracking with her eyes 90 degrees, pushing up on her arms. She can also roll over and sit with support, so she's a bit ahead of the game in those areas. And of course, she's brilliant, but with me and Michael as her parents, it's to be expected!

And now, she's sleeping off the shots. It's kind of nice, I had time to get all my school work finished, work out some bridal stuff with/for Alyssa, and fill out some more of RE's baby book.

One more reason to LOVE cloth diapering!

As many of you know, Michael and I chose to cloth diaper Ryan, not so much for the economical advantage (as we chose a diaper service, we really aren't saving money), but because of the environmental guilt and the desire to have soft, fluffy stuff on our darling's butt. That, and disposable dipes are NASTY. So, I've recently discovered that cute diaper covers are quite easy to sew, and quite addicting as well. I've got a whole stack of fabric waiting for me to turn into darling diaper covers! As soon as I finish this damn paper for school, I'm allowed back on my sewing machine. It's a self-imposed ban.

And I'm working on knitting her a diaper cover too. It's green, my fave, and if I get my tush over to the fabric store, it might wind up with a pink stripe in it! Y'all know how I LOVE pink and green!

So in any case, as much as I love cloth diapering for the environmental reasons, it's also another excuse to dress my daughter in cuteness!! And seek out new and more fabulous accesories for her tush! All under the guise of necessity, too, since one MUST use a cover for the cloth, why can't it be cute?

I don't wanna do homework!

Ok, this isn't about RE, although she's doing fine. I don't want to finish my homework. I have a paper to write that isn't due until NEXT Tuesday, so of course, I have no pressure to write the stupid thing. I have 982 words written, and it only has to be 1000-1200 words long, so it's basically done, but if I turned it in as is, I'd be pretty disappointed in myself. The problem is, I forget that I don't have endless free time, and I have to plan my life around RE's sleep schedule (which less resembles a schedule and more looks like a schizophrenic's thought pattern). In any case, I shouldn't be blogging right now, but I don't want to do homework, so I'm not going to.

In fact, I think I'm going to knit some more when I get off the damn computer. I've discoverd a new obsession with knitting diaper covers. In fact, I've discovered a new obsession with diaper covers in general. I'm ridiculous. I love me.

They fit!!! Hurrah for me!

Ok, no seriously, all of my old jeans fit. I'm so proud of myself. Even my super skinny JCrew jeans, my milestone for all jeans, jeans. And they don't look half bad. I'd wear them out. Not with a tight top, mind you, but I'd wear them out nonetheless. And I now have to be a but more careful, since if I bend over in them, I have a bit of a crack issue, and as I have a four month old who likes to be on the floor, this could become a bit of an issue.

But they fit!!!! Yay, me!!

(and yes, it's a cheesy, self portrait taken in a fitting room, but I look good! Oh, and I cut my hair!)

Nearly there!

I fit back into ALL of my old jeans! Now, granted, some of them don't look pretty and I would never wear them out of the house (we all know I don't do muffin top). But, I can get them zipped and buttoned, and that means that someday, in the near future, they'll look cute again! And many of them do actually fit, so I've gained quite a bit of my wardrobe back!

On a down note, I still don't look quite like I'd like, and I have just found out that I have a wedding to be in in August (that's you, Miss Alyssa). That's 4 months to look hot! I refuse to have everyone saying it's OK that I'm chubby since I just had a baby. Hello! She'll be 7 months old by then!

The Ideal Time

Apparently, the ideal time for a three month old to practice her latest skill is between the hours of 10pm and 3am. Ryan has decided that the middle of the night, in her crib, is the perfect opportunity to practice rolling over.

She starts by gathering her legs up underneath her, then straightening them up. This makes her look like she’s doing baby yoga, some variation of the downward dog pose, sans arms. Then, she kind of flops to her side, where she is sidetracked by her hands. Yes, despite the fact that she discovered them weeks ago, they are still her favorite toy. Finally, she gains enough momentum to get onto her back, where she flips out, and wails for someone to come put her back on her stomach. Only to start the whole process again. Now, I’d be glad to play this little game during the daylight hours (and NOT at 4am), but someone doesn’t want to play during the day. It’s more fun to try this at night.

Then, she can’t sleep because she’s teething, and her mouth is bothering her. So we give her children’s Tylenol. Now, I ask you, why, oh why, do they insist on putting BRIGHT RED DYE in this stuff? I ask this because, number one, it stains, and number two, it never makes it in her mouth. Which mean we have BRIGHT RED stains on everything that has come into contact with this stuff: her hands, her lips, her nose, her white jammies, and everything in between. Is the BRIGHT RED DYE necessary to the healing powers of the Tylenol? I doubt it. It’s probably to make it look more appealing. To whom? My three month old? Her palate currently consists of breast milk, soon to include such highlights as pears, apples, and strained carrots. And the occasional Cheerio. I doubt she cares about the color.

But, I digress.

I finally get her back to sleep after all this nonsense, and no sooner is she back in her crib, does she let out a HUGE fart. And accompanying this huge fart, is a huge squishy poo. Followed by more squishy poo. Score. I call for reinforcements. Daddy’s turn. Michael gets her diaper changed and starts to rock her back to sleep and she spits up on herself. Not just a little bit, but really lets it go. Great. Wardrobe change. And now he’s trying to get her back to sleep, again. It’s now been an entire hour since the whole rolling over practice began.

Just when we thought we had one of those kids who slept through the night. Murphy’s Law, I suppose.

The big revelation of the weekend.

I am now a guest in my parent's home. Not in a bad way, but rather in that way where you no longer live there, and it's not really like going home anymore.

In a sense, it will always be "home," but now it's not my first home. When we got back up to Seattle, we both remarked how this is "home" now.

Example: When I did the dishes after dinner one night, my mother thanked me and said I didn't need to do that. If I had been living at home, it would have been expected that I participate in family chores.

I am officially out of the nest. I guess it's about time, I have my own nest to tend to now.

It's been a while...

Things have been so busy around here!

We were on vacation last weekend, and then, we returned to a ton of errands and stuff we wanted to do while Michael was at home.

Vacation: Went very well...very busy though. Oh man was it busy. ALL of our family was there, mom, dad, brother, his girlfriend, my aunt, my uncle and his wife, my grandma. It was overwhelming, to say the least. But everyone wanted to meet RE, and she was her usually cheery self most of the time!

It was over 80 degrees while we were down there, so RE really had NO idea what to do with the weather. She slept all day long, and didn't really want to be held, unless we were in the A/C mall. Just as she started adapting to the weather, we headed home! But the weather's been great here too, though not 80, and she's enjoying herself.

On Friday morning, we went with Alyssa to check out wedding gowns. It was good times, even though RE decided to poop on my new white pants. Oh, the joys of motherhood. I should have known, if I was brazen enough to wear white pants, it was bound to happen! Alyssa found some lovely dresses, and hopefully, one will be "the one" as her wedding is in August!

Speaking of August weddings, this means that as a bridesmaid, I have less than 4 months to work out and get this baby weight off. I refuse to be the bridesmaid everyone excuses for being a little chubby, saying "she just had a baby". Yeah, 7 months ago. I don't want to be THAT girl.

Saturday was Ashley's big 4th birthday party! She had a bounce house. Nuff said. I think the big boys might have gotten even more out of it than the kids!!

Sunday was RE's big day...her baby naming. It was a really beautiful ceremony, and talked about the history of women in the Jewish faith, and how she was now a part of that history. We washed her feet as a symbol of the Mikvah, a traditional cleansing that women do. Her Jewish name is Rayna Elisheva. We chose Rayna because it means "pure" in Hebrew, the same thing that Kathryn means in Greek. So, it's kind of like we have the same name, in a sense.

She fell asleep at her big party, poor little thing was so wiped out from all the fun and heat. But we had more friends over later and she was up and enjoying the crowds. Such a party girl!

Monday was a mellow day...we just did some errands, hit the mall (wouldn't be a trip to Ptown without hitting Stoneridge) and Michael and I did In-n-Out. Yum. Man, I miss that stuff. When they open one in Washington, I'm going to be one of those crazy people camping out for days.

All in all, a great trip. RE did awesome on the planes, I think we might have a world traveler on our hands!

Top ten things I learned on vacation:

1. My husband is a strong man. In mind and spirit.
2. My parents are non-judgemental.
3. My friends have nice children. Thank God.
4. My daughter is an amazing human being. Despite the fact she’s only 3 months old.
5. I don’t like the Bay Area anymore.
6. I’m glad I don’t live at my parents house, though I like going there to visit.
7. A home without a dog is FAR too quiet.
8. Shopping is fun with my mom.
9. The right bouncy seat makes all the difference.
10. I truly miss all my old friends.

Suncreen and 75

It was such a lovely day today! The temp got all the way to 75 and I got a sunburn!! Of course, I think to put SPF 50 on the baby and nothing on myself. Ooops. Now I'm a bit itchy, but it'll be tan tomorrow.

We walked with our mommy group this morning. As usual, me and Kami kicked butt and outpaced the group. Not that it's a race, but we all know how competitive I am, so... We walked about 4 miles today! Woohoo! Those jeans are getting closer and closer to fitting.

Mary came over later and we went down to Juanita beach and walked and chatted down there. It was just such a beautiful day I could think of no reason to stay inside. Except that RE is going through her 3 month growth spurt and nursing every stinkin' hour! But not even that could keep me inside today. Have baby, will travel.

Then Lisa stopped by, which was great, since we haven't seen her in an AGE! She hadn't even met the baby yet.

All in all, another great day. If this weather keeps up, I'm going to be one happy girl! What is it about sunshine? I swear it's like a drug. But that's what living in Seattle will do to a person. When it's out, I appreciate it SO much more than I did living in California. It's days like yesterday and today that remind me how much I love living here.

Memories...like the corners of my mind

or something like that.

Anyways. Do you remember when you were a kid having to go to bed before the sun went down? I was sitting in Ryan's room, feeding her, about 8 tonight, and her room was awash with that dusk-y glow (greenish, since her room's bright green), listening to Michael talk with his buddies, and thinking back to when I was 8 or 9 years old.
My parents used to tuck us in while the sun was still out. I always thought that was so unfair. There was a corner of my bedroom window, where, if I sat just right, I could watch all the big kids still playing on the street. My window was always open (California, summer, no A/C) and I could hear them shreiking and screaming and I was so jealous. My mom and dad would always go and chat with the neighbors in the cul-de-sac and I would just watch them all hanging out and feel so left out. This all came flooding back to me last night and I thought, how can I make Ryan go to sleep right now? All the action is out in the other room. She wasn't having it anyway. She was happy to eat, but had no mind to crash out. She wound up staying up until 10, just hanging out with mommy and the guys.
Today was just one of those beautiful, late spring/early summer days that brings back floods of memories for me. It's the kind of weather I can remember growing up, and with the sunshine I can almost hear the shouts of kids on the streets, and feel the cool grass between my toes. I almost start itching as though I'd been playing in the pool and rolling on the lawn all day. I can only hope that Ryan will have memories like this to think back on someday. It's still astonishing that I have the power to help her make these memories, and I have every intention of doing that.

Oh, and today is my half birthday. I'm 26 and a half. Ouch.

Mmmm...stinky

God, she smells good. It's astonishing how wonderful such a tiny person can smell. Like a mixture of sweet breast milk, sticky spit up, drool, and baby funk. Somehow this makes the most wonderful perfume I've ever inhaled. I'm sure it's some biological necessity to ensure that I don't reject her and that I continue to care for her, but I don't care. She's stinks good.

Tiptoe through the tulips

We took a trip up to LaConner and the tulips today and it was so lovely! Ryan was in a fabulous mood, as usual, and the weather was sunny and not freezing cold! It was our first "family trip" and we both marveled that we now have a "family". Every once in a while it hits us that we have a child and that the three of us constitute a real family. We all really enjoyed spending the day together and have decided that we need to take more days like this to enjoy together.
And of course, the day would not have been complete without the usual baby drama! She had a major blow out that we changed in the stroller, on the street...adventurous. I whacked her head pretty hard on the car door, left a big bruise, we both cried. I felt like a pretty shitty mom, but now, several hours later, I can see the humor in it. I can't believe how much I desired to take the hurt away from her. All I wanted to do was make it stop hurting. Her wails were so tragic, that horrible, stop breathing, can't catch a breath baby cry. I just held her and rocked her until she stopped, poor kid. But, half an hour later, at the tulip fields, she was all smiles!

Seven hours

She slept 7 hours last night!! Holy cow! I really hope this is a trend, cause if it is, I’m good to go. As it is, you DO get used to not sleeping, or at least not sleeping consecutive hours. Of course, michael and I decided to watch a movie and do other stuff, so I only got 4 straight hours, but it’s all good.

I have to get a video of her playing with her hands. Every morning, when she’s lying in bed next to me, she fusses with her hands, playing with them, putting them in her mouth, wringing them together, all while slowly waking up and yawning and blinking. It’s darling. But, then again, I think her poop is cute, so I’m a little biased.

11 pounds, 8 ounces

Little Miss weighed 11lbs, 8oz on the kitchen scale today. She’s getting so big! We’ll be in the 3-6 month clothes by the time she’s 4 months! Such a peanut.

Argghhhh, puke.

At Evergreen group today, Ryan rolled halfway from her back to her tummy! She’s working on it! Before we know it, she’ll be rolling all over the house, but for now, I’m still contect that she’s immobile. It’s easier that way! Oooh, and we won a pair of BabyLegs (legwarmers). Yay! Another pair! Nothing cuter than a babe in leg warmers.

She’s all over her hands though now. She wrings them like a little old lady, fussing and worrying. I think she’s an old soul. When you look at her face, she just seems to be thinking really deep thoughts, and she seems so wise beyond her months. I really feel that she was around in a previous life, and she did something good enough to come back as a person. I’m so intrigued to get to know her as she grows up.

So, I had her all dressed in this adorable pink tunic and matching floral pants…looking quite springy and fashionable, and she puked on the shirt. Dammit. But Michael, quick thinking man he is, says, just rinse it out and dry it and it’ll be ready before you go to group. Good idea! 15 minutes later, she pukes again. This time, on the pants. The outfit’s done. Kiddo insists on at least one wardrobe change per day, fashionista that she is. I just wish she wouldn't puke or poop to indicate she’s ready for new clothes.

Easter Sunday

Easter is a BIG day for the peanut. We went to a lovely egg hunt that Costco put on and she stayed awake the whole time. Then we came home, hung out and headed over to Michele’s in the afternoon. Her family was kind enough to invite us for dinner with them. We had a great time, her family is very much like my own, and very welcoming. Ryan stayed awake the whole time. And she was in a shockingly good mood. But it took us hours to get her to crash out when we got home. Just goes to show, keeping them up during the day does nothing for getting them to sleep at night.

applaud or curse?

She slept in the crib for half the night tonight! Score! Each night it gets a little bit easier and she cries a little bit less. Really, we’re down to less than 10 minutes of on and off crying before she crashes out. Thank goodness, cause it was really tough to listen to her cry, knowing she’s exhausted, and not being able to do anything for her.

I don’t know if I should applaud her for being so strong willed, or curse her for being so stubborn. I’m sure it’ll be a bit of both over the next 20 years!

Shopping, shopping, shopping

RE and I went shopping with Auntie Julie today! We spent all day long in DT Seattle and she was fabulous. I've never met a 10 week old who can shop like this. She has no problems being out for 7 hours at a stretch.

Auntie Julie is 12 weeks pregnant and finally needed to make her first maternity clothes purchases. And of course, we bought baby clothes. We did some major damage at Children's Place despite the fact that RE has more than enough clothing and Julie only thinks she's having a boy.

All in all, a great day...oh, and we both had Hot Dog on a Stick. No, it's not in my "lose the baby weight" plan, but damn, it tasted good.

Sleeping and hands

I always feel bad venting about her, because I love her more than life itself, but sometimes, like tonight, I get so annoyed. It just took me an hour and a half to get her to sleep. It's killer because I know she's tired, but she just wants to be rocked to sleep and I feel that at almost three months, it's time for her to start learning to sleep on her own. I am impatient though, and despite this being the first day we've tried it, I expect her to understand and just sleep.

Oh, and she’s discovered her hands. This just started happening this week and it’s adorable! When she’s hungry, she goes at her hands like they’re hamburgers! She’s actually managed to get her entire fist in her mouth. It’s too cute. And she found a foot the other day. She grabbed it, kind of looked at it with this quizzical look as if to say “why can I feel that?”. I love watching her discoveries. It’s amazing to literally see her making those connections and know that she is learning and growing. She’s such an amazing baby.

There's a monster!

A couple of times in the last few days, Ryan has looked up, or woken up and just started screaming. And I mean screaming like someone is pulling her toes off, not just fussing. She did it earlier today on the changing table and just looked up, got this totally freaked out look on her face, and started screaming. I think she's seeing monsters!

Or not

So, basically, the doctors were just really quick to judge (plus, it being an ER doc and his not knowing Ryan didn't help any) and whatever it was seems to have passed. She is back to her normal, happy self. A little fussier than usual, but certainly not the tortue I hear is true colic. We actually think she might be teething and that could be part of her fussy issue! Poor kiddo!

April Fools

Colic makes even the most confident parent feel like a complete failure. Last night, after Ryan screamed her head off intermittently for 5 hours, we took her to the ER. The ER doc really had no answer for us, and since she was quite happy at the ER (smiling, giggling, not caring that she was butt naked), he diagnosed her with that bizzare excuse for crying: colic. Since it’s not understood what causes colic, there isn’t a cure for it either. Just a million different things to try to get your baby to calm down. One of which is holding them. All day. Much as I love to hold Ryan, sometimes, I like a break. Unfortunately, this means crying. Although, right now, she’s content in her swing. And actually asleep. Kind of. I called the triage nurse at Lakeshore just to see, because I thought the ER doc was kind of an idiot (he kept calling her a little critter) and she basically said the same thing.

I feel like a bit of a failure…it seems like this shouldn’t just crop up at two months old in an otherwise happy, healthy baby. I keep thinking that I did something wrong, or that if I’d done something different. I know this isn’t the case, but still.

It seems that the larger my heart gets, the more fragile it becomes. I know that when I first realized I loved Michael, I also realized how much greater the capacity for pain became. If he had ever done anything to hurt me, I would have been crushed. Now, eight years later, I know that he won’t do anything, but still understand that should he, I would be completely heartbroken.

When Ryan was born, I realized how great the capacity to love is. Again, I realize how fragile it is as well. Everytime I look at this little girl, it dawns on me how much she means to me. Should anything ever happen to her, I would be crushed. I know it’s morbid, but after such a rough evening, and this nagging feeling that something is wrong with her, I start thinking about life without her and I just could never do it. I think that a huge part of me would die. She is my life, and my love, and my whole world. They say you really don’t understand love until you have a child, and it’s true. I would really give my life for this little girl. I would do anything to protect her and keep her from harm.

Life is so delicate, and it’s amazing that it’s possible for such a teeny person to bring out so much in a person.

Sesame Street

I grew up on Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. Well, those are really the only children's songs I know, and for some reason, the only songs I can recall the words and melodies to lately. So, I've been singing a lot of that song "Sing" to Ryan. It always makes her smile, no matter what fuss she's having (I don't know if she likes the song, or is laughing at my tone deaf voice).

I went and bought the Sesame Street Platinum All Time Faves CD tonight and she was fussy, fussy, fussy while we were listening to it, until we got to "Sing" and she immediately recognized it and started smiling. Of course, being the emotional wreck that I am, I started crying. I just love that 26 years later, the same songs that made me smile as a kid are making my daughter smile.

Sing, sing a song

Ryan truly laughed for the first time. Not just a giggle, but a real laugh. And she is really responding to my facial expressions and smiles. She mimics my smiles and laughs when I blow raspberries at her. She moves her tongue trying to imitate! She has also started to kind of “hug” and hit my boob while she’s eating. She loves to look at her rattles and toys and is loving Sesame Street and Elmo. She thinks I’m funny when I sing to her while I change her diaper. We sing “you are my sunshine”, “sing” and all sorts of other songs I can remember words to.

Sing Sing a song Sing out loud Sing out strong Sing of good things, not bad Sing of happy, not sad Sing Sing a song Make it simple To last your whole life long Don't worry that it's not good enough For anyone else to hear Sing Sing a song

Big Day...2 month checkup

Big day today! We went walking at Alderwood with Leslie from babyfit.com and had a great time. Ryan was awake the whole time we were at the mall and really enjoyed herself. Then we headed off to her 2 month checkup at Dr. Platz. Here’s the lowdown: She’s 10 pounds, 4 ounces, 22 inches long, and her head is 151/4 inches around. She’s caught up to the 50% from the 25% at birth! Yay!! What a stud muffin. The doc said that she is quite developed for a baby her age. I told her that Ryan was holding her head up, rolling over, and practicing walking, to which she replied, already? Then she held Ryan up by her belly and she made crawling movements! She’s probably going to be an early crawler! She couldn’t believe how strong Ryan is and how far she’s come from day one. Oh, and her excessive drooling is probably an indication that she’ll be teething a bit early! Uh oh! On the one hand, I’m so proud, but on the other, I can’t believe she growing up so fast! Now it’s crawling and before I know it, it’ll be kindergarten!

The really good news is that it sounds like her heart murmur has cleared up. We will find out for sure next month when we go back to Dr. Stamm @ Children’s, but she said she’d be hard pressed to hear it now! Hooray! I’m so pleased that all that drama is over with.

Then came the shots: dum, dum, dum. Five in a row! I don’t know what pissed her off more, being held down, or being shot up. I’m sure it was a combo of both. And man, she did not want to be calmed down. But then she got some Tylenol and crashed out and now she is sleeping peacefully. Too bad I’ll have to wake her soon for more Tylenol!

Morning person

She loves being in between us in the mornings and talking, smiling, giggling and pooping! It’s her best time of day! It figures, two nightbirds would wind up with a total morning baby!

aieeee!

Ryan has discovered her voice, big time! She coos and gurgles and talks and now she screams and shreiks! It’s hilarious! When she gets really worked up and excited, she squeals! I love listening to all her noises and just know she’s going to be such a talker.

Smilin' and rollin'

When Ryan woke up this morning around 8am, I decided to take her into bed with us so I could try to get a bit more sleep. I changed her diaper and brought her in our room and layed her on the bed. Michael rolled over to give her a kiss and she looked up at the two of us and gave the hugest grin! I love this babies smile so much!!
She rolled over!! I put her on her tummy this morning and she was up high on her arms checking herself out in her new mirror and she rolled onto her back! I am so proud of my little peanut.

Silly girl

Ryan was supposed to be asleep in her crib (we're trying it out) and we heard noises on the moniter. We don't usually go in unless she's crying or really fussing, but this went on for a while, so we thought we should go check to make sure she's not breathing funny or something. We get in there and poke our heads over the end of the crib and Ryan has gotten one leg and one arm out of her swaddle, and is babbling to herself staring up at her new mobile! Then, she looks up at us and gives us the biggest grin and cracks up! It was truly the sweetest thing!!
And I’m still amazed, and was right after her birth, at just how much more I love Michael. I didn’t think it was possible, but after having Ryan, and seeing him with her, I truly love him more now than I did the day we were married.

Bits and Pieces

2.6.2006
6 pounds, 12 ounces, 19 ¾ in…already beat her birthweight!

2.12.2006
Her first pictures at Picture People in Southcenter with Auntie Julie. She cried the whole time. Wore her little blue dress from Aunt Jody, looked adorable!

2.24.2006
Weighs 8 pounds, 8 ounces on the kitchen scale at home.

3.3.2006
Gets baby ance…ick.

3.6.2006
Her first real smile! Smiled at her elephant toy!

3.7.2006
Slept 5.5 hours tonight!, Smiled at Zoe! Weighs 9 pounds, 3 ounces.

3.10.2006
First real laughs!! While changing her diaper, of course. It’s easy to see why that’s amusing!

3.13.2006
Appt with Dr. Wittman. I had a “beautiful delivery”. I’m a stud.

3.16.2006
Slept 7 hours!! Woohoo!! It’ll probably never happen again! Plus, it was after a really colicky night and she was super fussy for about 4 hours. That’ll tire anyone out, I suppose.

Milk Drunk

I cannot get over how much I love this child. I truly think I’ve found what life is all about. When Ryan pulls off my boob, smiles her “milk drunk” smile, and dribbles milk out of the side of her mouth-I melt. She is already such an amazing tiny little person. I am so loving getting to know her.

Visit to Children's Seattle

Dr. Stamm @ Childrens. Her first trip to Uvillage and Starbucks. Ryan is going to be fine, basically she has a valve that didn't close all the way, and it's something that about 50% of babies close on their own, and the other half it's too small to really worry about. To be certain, we will have to take her back in 3 months for another echo-cardiogram and make sure it's either not getting worse, or is getting better. Thank God there was no mention of surgery or even treatment, cause I probably would have passed out! As it was, Ryan did awesome! She was so good while the tech did the ultrasound, hardly fussed at all. And on the way home, I stopped to get a nursing bra -- 34H!! OMG, I'm a porn star!

Trip to ER with RE...v. scary

2.1.2006
ER @ Childrens, my milk came in.
So, we all went to my post-partum care visit and all was well until the nurse checked Ryan's heartbeat. She heard a heart murmur and pretty much sent us straight over to the pediatrician. The ped heard it too, and sent us straight over to Children's hospital in Seattle. By now I'm completely freaking out and panicking that I have to take my three day old baby to the freaking ER at Childrens. Once we got there (we stopped to pick up my mom and some more stuff, we only thought we'd be out 2 hours), she was checked out by 2 nurses, 3 doctors, a cardiologist and a resident. All agreed that she definitely has a heart murmur and the cardiologist wants to check it out further. So tomorrow we are taking her back to Children's so they can do an ultrasound on her heart and make sure it's something that won't require surgery. They think it's something that will close up on it's own, but to be safe, they want a closer look. I have calmed down a ton, but I am completely freaking out still. I don't want to put the baby down at all (poor daddy has barely gotten to hold her today). I just can't believe that there is something wrong with my perfect little thing. I feel like I've done everything so "right" that it's not fair that something should go wrong with her...it's a terrible feeling. I've spent most of the day crying and I finally crashed out and slept for like 3 hours (the most I've gotten all day). Not to mention, on top of all this, my milk came in today, so poor Ryan's whole feeding thing has been all crazy, plus all the car trips and the poking and prodding and undressing at all the dr.s...long day.

Mesh Panties are Sexy

1.29.2006
Courtesy of Evergreen hospitals wifi and my trying to stay awake for another half an hour to feed Ryan again, here is it!

As a few of you may know, I was chosen to host a "passion party" Saturday night. If you don't know what this is, it's basically a tupperware party for sex toys. So it's in the middle of this fun and frolic that I get up to go pee...no biggie right? But I go to sit back down and *gush*. Oops, what's that? So I rush back to the bathroom, thinking, have I just peed my pants? I changed into a pad and went back out. I announced to my 10 friends sitting in my living room that I thought my water had broken. So of course, everyone flips out and starts rushing around! Total mayhem! In any case, we finish the party out, cause everyone was just about to order their goodies anyway, and I still had to get Michael home from work and all that.

So, I spent another hour and a half at home, finishing up the party, doing dishes, dealing with the dog, all the while, just cramps coming every 10 minutes. I'm thinking, hey, no big deal!! We finally get out of the house, me, Michael, my best friend Alyssa, Julie and Mary. It's an entourage! Which is what they called us when we arrived at the maternity center! But Mary and Julie were at the party and I didn't have the heart to tell them not to come on down. Plus, I figured it would be a while and I'd need the company and so would Michael. This is about 9:45.

By the time I'm in the room and all dressed in my SEXY mesh panties and HUGE diaper pad, I'm having pretty good size contractions and I'm at a good solid 4cm. Still irregular though. 20 minutes later, they're getting more regular and much much closer together. By 11, they are nearly on top of one another, and terrifying. I couldn't talk, breathe, walk, even move...I just cried. So, despite my original plan for a drug free birth, I begged for an epidural. Maybe begged isn't right, I think I demanded with a few expletives. But whatever. I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist. I LOVE that man. Got the epi at midnight and by 12:15, I was laughing and joking with my friends, and having a great time! We were joking around with the night nurses, watching David Hasselhofs newest video ( And I was dialated to 7! Rock on!).

I hung out, slept and just generally chilled all night, all the while, progessing slowly. At one point, the labor nurse, Kathy, (my other new friend) gave me some pitocin to help make the contractions a little more meaningful. I was stuck at 9 cm for about 2 hours, but to tell you the truth, I didn't really care. I got to rest and sleep and store up my energy.

By about 5:30, we started pushing!! At 5:35, I had to stop pushing so she could get my doc in there. By the time my doctor arrived, I'd been pushing for about 20 minutes and the baby's head was crowing. Let me tell you, epi or no epi, you're gonna feel that! Ouch, they call it the "ring of fire" for good reason. (And having just seen Walk the Line, all I can hear is the Johnny Cash song) After 45 minutes of pushing, Ryan came out!! She was so desperate to accesorize, that she helped herself to that pretty necklace known as her cord, and came out a bit blue at first. But as soon as they got her a shot of oxygen, she was bright pink and screaming!

Michael and I just kept looking at each other saying that we can't believe she's ours, that we made that, or that we actually did it. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I love Ryan more than anything, and watching Michael give her eskimo kisses, I love him a VERY close second.